By Junias Erasmus
For many years, we have been taught that “blood is thicker than water,” meaning that family should always come first and that relatives will always stand by us when we need them.
Family is important, and strong family relationships should be valued. However, life has also taught many people a different lesson.
Sometimes the people who are not related to us are the ones who support us, encourage us, and stand with us when we are going through difficult times.
Nowadays, some people find that strangers can show them more kindness than their own relatives.
A person who barely knows you may offer you help when you are struggling, while someone from your own family may ignore your situation.
A stranger may listen to your problems, give you useful advice, or open a door of opportunity for you, while relatives may only appear when everything is going well.
This does not mean that all relatives are bad or that family no longer matters. There are many families where relatives support one another through difficult times.
However, we must also be honest about the reality that not every person who shares our blood will automatically have our best interests at heart.
Family connection creates a relationship, but it does not always create kindness, loyalty, respect, or support.
Sometimes people only become interested in you when you become successful. When you have a good job, money, a nice car, or a respected position, suddenly everyone is your cousin and everyone knows you.
Your phone starts receiving calls endlessly. People invite you to events. Some relatives proudly tell others how close they are to you.
But when you are struggling, unemployed, starting again, or going through a difficult season, those same people may disappear.
This can be painful, but it can also teach us an important lesson. Do not measure people’s love by how they treat you when you are successful.
Watch how they treat you when you have nothing to offer them. Difficult times often reveal relationships more clearly than good times.
There are also people who start looking down on their relatives when they become successful. They forget where they came from and treat those who supported them badly. This is equally wrong.
Success should not make us forget our family, friends, or the people who helped us along the way. If you are fortunate enough to succeed, use your success to lift others rather than to make them feel small.
At the same time, we should learn to appreciate the people who help us without expecting anything in return.
A stranger who gives you an opportunity, a colleague who encourages you, a neighbour who helps you during a difficult time, or a friend who stays when everyone else has left can become more important to your journey than someone who shares your surname.
Sometimes the strongest families are not created by blood alone. They are built through trust, loyalty, respect, kindness, and genuine care.
There are people we meet in life who become like brothers and sisters because of how they treat us. They may not share our blood, but they share our struggles, celebrate our victories, and stand with us during difficult moments.
This is why we should be careful about judging people only by their family background. A person does not become good simply because they are related to us, just as a person does not become bad because they are a stranger.
Character is shown through actions. Love is shown through care. Loyalty is shown during difficult times. Respect is shown when there is nothing to gain.
We should also teach young people that relationships must be built on more than family names.
They should learn to appreciate good people wherever they find them. Sometimes a teacher may believe in you before your relatives do. Sometimes a colleague may open a door for you.
Sometimes a stranger may give you the encouragement you needed to continue. Never forget those people.
However, we should not allow disappointment from relatives to make us bitter. Instead, let it teach us wisdom.
Not everyone will support you, and that is part of life. Do not spend all your energy trying to convince people to value you. Continue doing what is right, remain humble, and appreciate those who genuinely stand by you.
There is also a lesson about success. If people only accept you after you become successful, remember that their acceptance should not determine your value.
You were valuable before the promotion, before the money, before the business, and before the recognition. Success may change your circumstances, but it does not create your worth.
At the same time, when you become successful, do not become the person who only remembers people when you need them. Remember those who stood by you when you were still finding your way.
Check on people when they are struggling. Help where you can. Give someone an opportunity. Sometimes the greatest success is not what you have, but what you are able to do for others.
Life has a way of changing relationships. Some people will walk with you for a season, while others will remain for many years. Some relatives may disappoint you, while strangers may become lifelong friends.
What matters is not simply who is connected to you by blood, but who is connected to you through genuine care and respect.
Perhaps the lesson is not that blood is completely unimportant. Family will always have a special place in our lives.
The lesson is that relationships should be measured by character and actions, not blood alone. A person who stands with you when you are struggling may deserve more appreciation than someone who only appears when you succeed.
So, value your family, but also value the good people life brings into your journey. Appreciate the stranger who helped you when you needed help. Remember the friend who believed in you when others did not.
Respect the colleague who encouraged you when you were ready to give up. And when you become successful, remain the same person who needed help yesterday.
Blood may connect people by birth, but kindness, loyalty, respect, and love are what truly connect people in life. Sometimes the people who are not related to us become the family we choose.
Junias Erasmus is an Interdisciplinary Scholar, Philosopher, and Legal Researcher, with recognised expertise in Artificial Intelligence grounded in a Multidisciplinary foundation in Management Science. He is also a Motivational Speaker. This article is authored in his personal capacity. For enquiries, he may be contacted at Junias99@gmail.com.
