Dealing with a narcissistic stakeholder

An organisation has various stakeholders. However, many stakeholders’ management theories failed to identify and classify a narcissist within a corporate setting.

It has become important to identify and classify stakeholders according to their personality traits, as some personalities have a detrimental effect on an organisation’s culture, efficiency, and productivity. Moreover, several people are starting to realise the effects that narcissistic behaviour have on their mental health and overall wellbeing.

Two years ago, I co-authored an article on corporate bullying. The article received tremendous response, as many readers could relate to the content in the article.  Most of the responses noted that the bullying they experienced emanated from bosses who displayed narcissistic behavioural traits. One could wonder, what are those traits? Well, before the behaviour traits are identified, it is important to first define the term narcissism. There two types of narcissists, an overt and covert narcissist.

The Merriam Webster dictionary defines narcissism as being, “extremely self-centred with an exaggerated sense of self-importance, marked by or characteristic of excessive admiration of or infatuation with oneself”.

Narcissism is also a mental health condition that is characterized by a lack of empathy, manipulation, a sense of grandiosity, and a constant need for praise and attention. A narcists wants to be admired and seen in high regard, while breaking down others, to make him/her feel better.

Although the above definition encompasses both types of narcissism, it would take discernment and wisdom to identify the covert narcissist, because they are under the radar.  Dr Albers, a physiologist says, a covert narcissist tends to be overly sensitive to criticism, has social anxiety, suffers from depression, is self-deprecating, to receive attention from others. He/she tends to be passive-aggressive and revengeful.

He/she also feels misunderstood and has learned to suppress his/her true feelings. He/she is extremely insecure, and torments him/herself with a barrage of negative talks. Covert narcissism is a bit more dangerous because it is difficult to detect and manage.

Everyone has narcissistic traits in their personalities. Humans have an innate need to be appreciated, admired, and recognised, even if most do not openly admit it. However, there are individuals who take narcissism a notch higher.

Those individuals, when in a leadership position, are destructive and destroy anything they deem to attack the image they view of themselves or when they feel their self-interests are threatened.

Teams led by such leaders tend to adapt a silo working mindset and model self-centred and self-importance traits that don’t inculcate a culture of teamwork and collaboration within an organisation.

Narcistic leaders/people are manipulative, persuasive, intelligent, and charmers. They love to be at the centre of attention, and getting praise for things they did not do. They are competitive and have a low tolerance for criticism. When criticised, they tend to berate and belittle a person.

They play the ‘victim’ and would in turn use every opportunity to ‘punish you’ (which is form of manipulation) by for example, ignoring you, refusing to talk to you and badmouthing you to others. All to paint you as the villain and them as the hero.

They are good at lying and storytelling. They display characteristics akin to people who are insecure.  They also hold long unto grudges and do not admit or apologise when they were wrong, because they believe they are never wrong.  As a draw to the end of part 1, I want to quote a wise saying that says, “Do you see a man wise in his own eyes and conceit?

There is more hope for a [self-confident] fool than for him “(Prov 26:12). Next, week I will further unpack this topic.

*Morna Ikosa is a Senior Corporate Communications and Brand Reputation Strategist, CPRP, MA, AKA Fixer. To connect, send her a shout-out at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or find her on LinkedIn.

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Last modified on Saturday, 13 May 2023 18:03

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