As I continue with the topic of toxic femininity, it is important to note that no matter what word or phrase we give it, dealing with any form of toxicity is detrimental to anyone’s mental health and progress.
As explained in my previous article, toxic femininity has two sides. The one where the woman is the victim and the perpetrator. If you notice that you have toxic femininity traits, what do you do?
This article will provide a few suggestions for those who have either been branded as toxic by their colleagues, family and friends. It also wants to empower those who inherently know they have some challenges in this area.
Do Introspection on yourself. Adult behaviour models their early child home environment. Thus, will it be worthwhile to travel back in time and assess where you picked up your toxic behaviour? Do thorough introspection. If it is hard for you, get a psychologist to assist you. If you don’t know your wound, how will you heal it?
Examine your behaviour. Take a step back and examine and question why you do, say and react to certain things and people the way you do. You can imbibe toxic femininity traits over the years that certain behaviours become normal for you. Understand what are your triggers? Why do certain people or things trigger you? Ask yourself why you are jealous, angry, bitter and resentful? What happened in your past, that you feel the future should pay for?
Introduce a healthy dialogue. Your internal dialogue is important. You are an embodiment of the thoughts and words you have spoken over yourself for years. So, you need to be aware of what you say to yourself and about yourself daily? Many toxic people have insecurities and wounds, which they do not deal with. Thus, it is important to recognise those internal wounds, and start addressing them through positive affirmations.
Deal with the internal pressure. Instead of blowing off steam on others, go for a walk-in nature, if possible. See a therapist, listen to music, cry, or find wherever you can be authentic, and release, reflect and recover. Stop bleeding on people who have nothing to do with what is happening to you. Take accountability for your pain and stop projecting it on others. Also stop playing the victim, especially when people call you out on your bad behaviour. The world will sometimes give you what you give it.
Love and have mercy on you. Learn to have mercy on yourself and others. You can’t love others if you don’t love yourself first. Learn to forgive yourself. Make time to discover aspects of yourself. There is still more about yourself you have not even begun to unearth.
Watch what you are consuming. You are a product of the information you consume. If what you have been taught and are consuming, whether on digital media or traditional media, does not help you to deal with your toxic behaviour, then find materials to help you become a better, healthy and happier person. Change your company if it does not help you to develop new and healthier habits.
Lastly, what you project, you will attract. Perpetrators of toxicity in the workplace, are the ones who usually play the victim. I am sure you might read this article and think, it does not apply to you. However, wherever we find ourselves, let us treat people the way we want to be treated. Life is fickle. Here today and gone tomorrow. Would you rather want to be miserable or happy? Next week, I will conclude with this topic.
*Morna Ikosa is a Senior Corporate Communications and Brand Reputation Strategist, CPRP, MA, AKA Fixer. To connect, send her a shout-out at micommunicationscc@gmail.com or find her on LinkedIn.
